Where is the hickey?
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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