i jhust puked up my retainher.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
