Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
