Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
