The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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