So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
