Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
