I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
