This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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