I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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