Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
