the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
you made out with another girl for some wings
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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