Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
