i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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