i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
this will be a night to untag.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
What a dumb baby whore.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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