He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Slut skills are useful in every country.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
