GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
