just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
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