First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
