planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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