i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
