Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Randomize
