But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
