Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
he fucked my hip out of place.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
