Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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