Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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