Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
