he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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