You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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