Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
