moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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