so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
