Dual....:-)
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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