goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
