have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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