You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
how drunk are you?
Several
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
