If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
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