This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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