Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
