The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
you had me at cake vodka
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Randomize
