if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
