and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
