Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Two words: blizzard sex
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
