so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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