Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
and you fell through a lawn chair
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I would fuck him just for his dog
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
