I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
