this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
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