Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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