This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
