We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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